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When things go well, and when they don't

Sabr & shukr

Children meet disappointment early — a lost game, an illness, a friend with more than them. Islam gives two tools for exactly those moments: sabr when something hurts, and shukr when something is good. These lessons take the hadith about the believer's affair, the hadith on patience at the first stroke of a calamity, the promise that even a thorn prick removes sins, the command to thank people, and the instruction to look at those who have less. Every point is anchored to an ayah reference and a graded hadith.

A small sage clay sapling growing through cracked cream clay stone with a gold clay sun behind
A balanced sage clay scale holding a small gold clay sun and a cream clay raincloud

Lesson 1 · The believer's affair · ages 8-11

Both ways end well

A believer has only two options and both of them are good: thank Allah when things go well, be patient when they don't.

  1. The hadith

    The Prophet ﷺ said the believer's affair is all good: if something pleasant happens he thanks Allah, and if something painful happens he is patient — and both are good for him.

  2. Nobody else gets this

    The same hadith says this is true for no one except a believer, because only he sees both sides as coming from Allah.

  3. Hard things are tests

    Allah promises to test us with fear, hunger and loss — and gives good news to those who are patient.

  4. The words to say

    Those who are patient say: to Allah we belong and to Him we return.

  5. Blessings and mercy follow

    Allah says on them are blessings and mercy, and they are the rightly guided.

Surah Al-Baqara · 2:155

وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُم بِشَىْءٍۢ مِّنَ ٱلْخَوْفِ وَٱلْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍۢ مِّنَ ٱلْأَمْوَٰلِ وَٱلْأَنفُسِ وَٱلثَّمَرَٰتِ ۗ وَبَشِّرِ ٱلصَّٰبِرِينَ

Wa lanablu wannakum bishai'im minal khawfi waljoo'i wa naqsim minal amwaali wal anfusi was samaraat; wa bashshiris saabireen

“And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient,”

Surah Al-Baqara · 2:156

ٱلَّذِينَ إِذَآ أَصَٰبَتْهُم مُّصِيبَةٌۭ قَالُوٓا۟ إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّآ إِلَيْهِ رَٰجِعُونَ

Allazeena izaaa asaabathum museebatun qaalooo innaa lillaahi wa innaaa ilaihi raaji'oon

“Who, when disaster strikes them, say, "Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return."”

Surah Al-Baqara · 2:157

أُو۟لَٰٓئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَٰتٌۭ مِّن رَّبِّهِمْ وَرَحْمَةٌۭ ۖ وَأُو۟لَٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْمُهْتَدُونَ

Ulaaa'ika 'alaihim salawaatun mir Rabbihim wa rahma; wa ulaaa'ika humul muhtadoon

“Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided.”

“Strange are the ways of a believer for there is good in every affair of his... if he has an occasion to feel delight, he thanks (God)... and if he gets into trouble and shows resignation (and endures it patiently), there is a good for him in it.”

Sahih Muslim 2999

Do this before next time

Name one good thing from today and one hard thing, then say Alhamdulillah for both.

A cracked cream clay pot mended with gold seams on a sage clay mat

Lesson 2 · Sabr · ages 12-15

Patience in the first minute

Anyone can calm down after an hour. The Prophet ﷺ said real patience is right at the first shock.

  1. The hadith

    The Prophet ﷺ said the real patience is at the first stroke of a calamity.

  2. Feeling sad is allowed

    Sabr is not pretending nothing happened; it is not lashing out or complaining against Allah.

  3. Sabr is a command with a promise

    Allah tells the believers to be patient and persevere, and says the patient will be given their reward without measure.

  4. Salah is the other tool

    Allah pairs patience with prayer as the two things to seek help through.

  5. Practise on small things

    Losing a game or a broken toy is training for the bigger tests later.

Surah Aal-i-Imraan · 3:200

يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱصْبِرُوا۟ وَصَابِرُوا۟ وَرَابِطُوا۟ وَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ

Yaaa aiyuhal lazeena aamanus biroo wa saabiroo wa raabitoo wattaqul laaha la'allakum tuflihoon

“O you who have believed, persevere and endure and remain stationed and fear Allah that you may be successful.”

Surah Az-Zumar · 39:10

قُلْ يَٰعِبَادِ ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱتَّقُوا۟ رَبَّكُمْ ۚ لِلَّذِينَ أَحْسَنُوا۟ فِى هَٰذِهِ ٱلدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةٌۭ ۗ وَأَرْضُ ٱللَّهِ وَٰسِعَةٌ ۗ إِنَّمَا يُوَفَّى ٱلصَّٰبِرُونَ أَجْرَهُم بِغَيْرِ حِسَابٍۢ

Qul yaa 'ibaadil lazeena aamanut taqoo Rabbakum; lillazeena ahsanoo fee haazihid dunyaa hasanah; wa ardul laahi waasi'ah; innamaa yuwaffas saabiroona ajrahum bighayri hisab

“Say, "O My servants who have believed, fear your Lord. For those who do good in this world is good, and the earth of Allah is spacious. Indeed, the patient will be given their reward without account."”

Surah Al-Baqara · 2:153

يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱسْتَعِينُوا۟ بِٱلصَّبْرِ وَٱلصَّلَوٰةِ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ مَعَ ٱلصَّٰبِرِينَ

Yaaa ayyuhal laazeena aamanus ta'eenoo bissabri was Salaah; innal laaha ma'as-saabireen

“O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.”

“The real patience is at the first stroke of a calamity.”

Sahih al-Bukhari 1302

Do this before next time

Next time something goes wrong, wait ten seconds and say Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un before you react.

A cream clay cup of warm drink beside a folded sage clay blanket and a small gold clay thorn on a leaf

Lesson 3 · Sickness · ages 8-11

Illness cleans a Muslim

Being ill is not a punishment. The Prophet ﷺ said even a thorn prick has sins removed because of it.

  1. The hadith

    The Prophet ﷺ said no fatigue, disease, sorrow, sadness, hurt or distress befalls a Muslim — even the prick of a thorn — without Allah expiating some of his sins.

  2. The dua of Ayyub

    Prophet Ayyub was ill for years and called on his Lord saying: harm has afflicted me, and You are the Most Merciful.

  3. Allah is the Healer

    Ibrahim said of his Lord: and when I am ill, it is He who cures me.

  4. Nothing is too much

    Allah says He does not burden a soul with more than it can bear.

  5. Visit the sick

    Making dua for someone ill and visiting them is a sunnah with its own reward.

Surah Al-Anbiyaa · 21:83

۞ وَأَيُّوبَ إِذْ نَادَىٰ رَبَّهُۥٓ أَنِّى مَسَّنِىَ ٱلضُّرُّ وَأَنتَ أَرْحَمُ ٱلرَّٰحِمِينَ

Wa Ayyooba iz naadaa Rabbahooo annee massaniyad durru wa Anta arhamur raahimeen

“And [mention] Job, when he called to his Lord, "Indeed, adversity has touched me, and you are the Most Merciful of the merciful."”

Surah Ash-Shu'araa · 26:80

وَإِذَا مَرِضْتُ فَهُوَ يَشْفِينِ

Wa izaa mardtu fahuwa yashfeen

“And when I am ill, it is He who cures me”

Surah Al-Baqara · 2:286

لَا يُكَلِّفُ ٱللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا ۚ لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتْ وَعَلَيْهَا مَا ٱكْتَسَبَتْ ۗ رَبَّنَا لَا تُؤَاخِذْنَآ إِن نَّسِينَآ أَوْ أَخْطَأْنَا ۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تَحْمِلْ عَلَيْنَآ إِصْرًۭا كَمَا حَمَلْتَهُۥ عَلَى ٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِنَا ۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تُحَمِّلْنَا مَا لَا طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهِۦ ۖ وَٱعْفُ عَنَّا وَٱغْفِرْ لَنَا وَٱرْحَمْنَآ ۚ أَنتَ مَوْلَىٰنَا فَٱنصُرْنَا عَلَى ٱلْقَوْمِ ٱلْكَٰفِرِينَ

Laa yukalliful-laahu nafsan illaa wus'ahaa; lahaa maa kasabat wa 'alaihaa maktasabat; Rabbanaa la tu'aakhiznaa in naseenaaa aw akhtaanaa; Rabbanaa wa laa tahmil-'alainaaa isran kamaa hamaltahoo 'alal-lazeena min qablinaa; Rabbanaa wa laa tuhammilnaa maa laa taaqata lanaa bih wa'fu 'annaa waghfir lanaa warhamnaa; Anta mawlaanaa fansurnaa 'alal qawmil kaafireen

“Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. "Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people."”

“No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that.”

Sahih al-Bukhari 5641

Do this before next time

Make dua for one person you know who is unwell, and send them a message today.

Two cream clay gift boxes on a sage clay tray with small gold clay hearts between them

Lesson 4 · Shukr · ages 5-7

Thanking people is thanking Allah

You cannot skip saying thank you to people and claim you are grateful to Allah — the Prophet ﷺ joined the two together.

  1. The hadith

    The Prophet ﷺ said: he who does not thank the people is not thankful to Allah.

  2. Gratitude increases things

    Allah says if you are grateful He will give you more.

  3. Say Jazak Allahu khayran

    It means 'may Allah reward you with good' — a dua instead of a plain thanks.

  4. Sulayman's example

    When Sulayman saw a blessing arrive he said this is from the favour of my Lord, to test whether I am grateful.

  5. Start with parents

    Allah names being grateful to Him and to your parents in the same breath.

Surah Ibrahim · 14:7

وَإِذْ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَئِن شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ ۖ وَلَئِن كَفَرْتُمْ إِنَّ عَذَابِى لَشَدِيدٌۭ

Wa iz ta azzana Rabbukum la'in shakartum la azeedannakum wa la'in kafartum inn'azaabee lashadeed

“And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, 'If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.' "”

Surah An-Naml · 27:40

قَالَ ٱلَّذِى عِندَهُۥ عِلْمٌۭ مِّنَ ٱلْكِتَٰبِ أَنَا۠ ءَاتِيكَ بِهِۦ قَبْلَ أَن يَرْتَدَّ إِلَيْكَ طَرْفُكَ ۚ فَلَمَّا رَءَاهُ مُسْتَقِرًّا عِندَهُۥ قَالَ هَٰذَا مِن فَضْلِ رَبِّى لِيَبْلُوَنِىٓ ءَأَشْكُرُ أَمْ أَكْفُرُ ۖ وَمَن شَكَرَ فَإِنَّمَا يَشْكُرُ لِنَفْسِهِۦ ۖ وَمَن كَفَرَ فَإِنَّ رَبِّى غَنِىٌّۭ كَرِيمٌۭ

Qaalal lazee indahoo 'ilmum minal Kitaabi ana aateeka bihee qabla ai yartadda ilaika tarfuk; falammaa ra aahu mustaqirran 'indahoo qaala haazaa min fadli Rabbee li yabluwaneee 'a-ashkuru am akfuru wa man shakara fa innamaa yashkuru linafsihee wa man kafara fa inna Rabbee Ghaniyyun Kareem

“Said one who had knowledge from the Scripture, "I will bring it to you before your glance returns to you." And when [Solomon] saw it placed before him, he said, "This is from the favor of my Lord to test me whether I will be grateful or ungrateful. And whoever is grateful - his gratitude is only for [the benefit of] himself. And whoever is ungrateful - then indeed, my Lord is Free of need and Generous."”

Surah Luqman · 31:14

وَوَصَّيْنَا ٱلْإِنسَٰنَ بِوَٰلِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُۥ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍۢ وَفِصَٰلُهُۥ فِى عَامَيْنِ أَنِ ٱشْكُرْ لِى وَلِوَٰلِدَيْكَ إِلَىَّ ٱلْمَصِيرُ

Wa wassainal bi waalidaihi hamalat hu ummuhoo wahnan 'alaa wahninw wa fisaaluhoo fee 'aamaini anishkur lee wa liwaalidaika ilaiyal maseer

“And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.”

“He who does not thank the people is not thankful to Allah.”

Sunan Abi Dawud 4811

“Whoever some good was done to him, and he says: 'May Allah reward you in goodness' (Jazak Allahu Khayran), then he has done the most that he can of praise.”

Jami' at-Tirmidhi 2035

Do this before next time

Thank three people today out loud, and say Jazak Allahu khayran to at least one of them.

A cream clay bowl of dates and a gold clay water jug on a sage clay mat

Lesson 5 · Qana'ah · ages 12-15

Look at who has less

Comparing upwards makes you miserable. The Prophet ﷺ gave the opposite instruction.

  1. The hadith

    The Prophet ﷺ said when one of you looks at someone above him in wealth or looks, he should also look at someone below him in those things.

  2. Do not strain your eyes

    Allah told the Prophet ﷺ not to strain his eyes towards what He has given others to enjoy.

  3. Count what you have

    Allah says if you tried to count His favours you could never number them.

  4. Enough is a gift

    The provision of your Lord is better and more lasting than what others are given.

  5. Gratitude out loud

    Naming three blessings before sleep retrains what your heart notices.

Surah Taa-Haa · 20:131

وَلَا تَمُدَّنَّ عَيْنَيْكَ إِلَىٰ مَا مَتَّعْنَا بِهِۦٓ أَزْوَٰجًۭا مِّنْهُمْ زَهْرَةَ ٱلْحَيَوٰةِ ٱلدُّنْيَا لِنَفْتِنَهُمْ فِيهِ ۚ وَرِزْقُ رَبِّكَ خَيْرٌۭ وَأَبْقَىٰ

Wa laa tamuddanna 'ainaika ilaa ma matta'na biheee azwajam minhum zahratal hayaatid dunya linaftinahum feeh; wa rizqu Rabbika khairunw wa abqaa

“And do not extend your eyes toward that by which We have given enjoyment to [some] categories of them, [its being but] the splendor of worldly life by which We test them. And the provision of your Lord is better and more enduring.”

Surah An-Nahl · 16:18

وَإِن تَعُدُّوا۟ نِعْمَةَ ٱللَّهِ لَا تُحْصُوهَآ ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَغَفُورٌۭ رَّحِيمٌۭ

Wa in ta'uddoo ni'matal laahi laa tuhsoohaa; innal laaha la Ghafoorur Raheem

“And if you should count the favors of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.”

Surah Ibrahim · 14:34

وَءَاتَىٰكُم مِّن كُلِّ مَا سَأَلْتُمُوهُ ۚ وَإِن تَعُدُّوا۟ نِعْمَتَ ٱللَّهِ لَا تُحْصُوهَآ ۗ إِنَّ ٱلْإِنسَٰنَ لَظَلُومٌۭ كَفَّارٌۭ

Wa aataakum min kulli maa sa altumooh; wa in ta'uddoo ni'matal laahi laa tuhsoohaa; innal insaana lazaloo mun kaffaar

“And He gave you from all you asked of Him. And if you should count the favor of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, mankind is [generally] most unjust and ungrateful.”

“When one of you looks at one who stands at a higher level than you in regard to wealth and physical structure he should also see one who stands at a lower level than you in regard to these things.”

Sahih Muslim 2963

Do this before next time

Write down five blessings you have that you never asked for.

Every ayah on this page comes from the Tanzil Uthmani text of the Qur'an with the Sahih International translation, and every hadith carries its collection and number so you can check it yourself. Back to the learning path

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